dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
