Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
