Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
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