i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Randomize
