There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
do herpes really smell.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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