DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
