you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
