i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
