He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
