She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
