Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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