I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize