Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We are two peas in an std pod
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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