She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
