Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize