This house was built for laser tag.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Of course I have a pirate flag
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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