I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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