I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
