I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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