How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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