Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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