arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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