I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
