There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
