I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
