Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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