i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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