i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
