My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
