I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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