Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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