every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
