that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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