I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Everyone says I win the strip club
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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