I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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