Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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