i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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