you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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