i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
