the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
