therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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