Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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