It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I had to cum in my sink.
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