is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
