I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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