I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
