i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
