im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
