Do you still have your period?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
