i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
