his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
