I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
