The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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