I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
