I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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