Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
