got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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