suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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