you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
