You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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