it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
