i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize