im about as happy as oj after his trial
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
