Just fell off a train. Bad.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
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