And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
