Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
