i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
