i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
