watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
