in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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