oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
