Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize